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TEL- FEBRUARY



Five ways to ‘spice up’ your Relationship
It may interest you to know that your relationship can work out just perfectly even better than you thought. All need to do is religiously follow this few tips


Gratitude: ‘kind word warms the heart’. Learn to say kind words to appreciate one another an
d reassure your partner of how much you love them. Don’t just assume that things are cool. You can be so wrong. Start by telling them how wonderful they look or smell. There is a list of endearing words to use with your spouse but isn’t it better if you take the initiative to find out what works best for your spouse.

Look good: you don’t have to ‘dress to kill’ oops! (don’t know what that means) just be yourself and always look smart and simple , doesn't have to be when you are meeting each other only, you can have a haircut if you are the man (ladies prefer the low cut) and importantly smell good.

The sweet bitter truth: there is no point flattering yourselves in fact when you do that it kills the relationship and you are giving way for distrust, unfaithfulness and deceit to mention a few. Honesty is key for the parties to have a healthy relationship and know each other better.
So it’s just simple to always say the truth and if you observe your partner is not always coming up with the truth, don’t waste your time. End it!

BE open to learn: according to those that know, no man is an island. Courtship or however you want to put it is a period of time no matter how short or long it is to learn to be better, but this is possible only if you open yourself to correction and constructive criticism. Put it in mind you are not perfect YES! YOU are not perfect!

Cook something nice: it maybe food, a game or maybe a topic for discussion. It doesn’t have to be the ladies doing this, the guys should do this more often and whatever it is let it be fun as it helps simulate good communication and understanding of one another.

Written by: Moses Aiyenugba.



THINGS YOUNG ADULTS COMPROMISE WHEN THEY DATE EARLY.

Stumbling across a write-up by Patrick Mabilog where he described some things students compromise early when date early. Studying it closely i discovered he was pointing to some reasonable points stating how youth ministries can help students not compromise some necessaries.
Though he was speaking directly to the youth ministries out there, I want to speak to everyone really involved out there, the young adults: Youths and Teenagers out there.

Young Adults: A person in the age range 20- 39/40.
Although definitions and opinions vary( Wikipedia). I personally want to define a young adult as a person in his?her late teens and a young youth growing into adulthood.

Some of the things that compromised when young adults date early are: 
(a) Sexual Purity  (b) Independence (c) Education (d) Family (e) Time with God.

(a) Sexual Purity: 
I define this as an act of staying pure sexually, it has to do with abstinence and staying away from sexual activities.
I am yet to see a young adult who is not eager to know more about sex. I can vividly remember years back when I was taking a set of Christian teenagers on a topic related to sexual purity, a young female teen asked me how i could speak so much on it if I have not been involved in it!
Then I discovered the great space left vacant in the life of a young adult if not properly filled with the the right seed.
Now imagine venturing into a relationship at that stage; it won't be just asking your partner alone, it'll be acting it with your partner. Once sexual Purity is  compromised I can bet you its the beginning of emotional failure. You hear issues about Incubus and Succubus today because a lot of young adults are sexually impure thereby giving room for sexual demonic activities.


(b) Independence:
The time of life as a young adult- teens/ early youth is a stage where you should learn about yourself, your strength and weaknesses, your gifts, abilities and talents. It is time to discover what needs to be uprooted in your life most especially emotionally and all these can be achieved only in Independence.

Wordweb defines Independence: Freedom from control/influence of another or others.
This is a time in your life you've got the freedom. You have total freedom over yourself.

when you venture into a relationship early, this is compromised; How? 
All your thoughts are on your early found partner, all discoveries are about him/her and the most wrecking part of it is this; You'll be engrossed in how the relationship gets better and not how your life gets better! 
early relationships takes the attention away from yourself- up to your dressing, it's all gonna be about them and not about you!


(c) Education/Career:
When Young adults venture/date too early, a lot of them tend to lose the balance.
They lack concentration because of some unpreparedness in them which makes them find it hard balancing their relationship and their Education/Career.
Relationship aren't for fun, they are tasky and demand a lot of sacrifice and when you venture into it so early when you are emotionally, materially,financially and spiritually immature you compromise your education/career.
Permit me say this: A sizeable amount of graduates at whatever level graduate below average as  a result of early dating. A lot of young adults- teens whos should have been benefits of scholarship never thought of it cos of a relationship. Career-wise adults have refused to grow because they only want to make more money so as to satisfy their spouse/ boyfriends and girlfriends!


(d) Family:
Young Adults realize this at this point that: NO one is worth sacrificing you family member for! 
The trick there is this: Till you get married to them they are'nt your family any yet cos they can break up with you at any time and even break off your lives. They become your family when they get married to you and by that time also NO one will be worth sacrificing them for.


(e) Time with GOD: 
How much can I Explain this?
Matthew 10:37- He that loveth father/mother more than me is not worthy of me and he that loveth son/daughter more tahn me is not worthy of me.

Permit me say this: He that loveth his/her relationship(Partner) than God is not worthy of Him also.
I can boldly say as a Young Adult venturing into relationship early makes the relationship seems like your future, it blurs your purpose that you do not have time with God any-more.
All you now have time for are hangouts, visits, chats, outings and some even dig farther into pre-marital sex.
Young Adulthood is not the time for Sexual practicals but Spiritual Practicals.

Oluwatobiloba Oshunbiyi,
CL Blogs.

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